hikari*

Wednesday, April 22, 2009Y

What teachers I remember

You know the saying that goes, "Teachers only remember students who are exceptionally smart, dumb, beautiful and ugly"?

Well, "Students only remember teachers who are exceptional" as well.

Exceptionally colour coordinated. I used to have this Science teacher during high school who is a pro at this. Green blouse with green ribbon. Blue blouse with blue ribbon. Red blouse with red ROSE in hair.

Exceptionally quirky. Loud and cold at times. Funny and warm at other times. Throwing random topics at all times. I remember her telling me how proud she was to still have a flat tummy during her late twenties. During then, I was still thinking, "Doesn't every have a flat tummy, duh?" Well well well. Stupid me for being so naive and at the same time failing to have a flat tummy in my early twenties! I believe all who have been in her class remembers her. And with her sense of humour, even I who is the timid-est of mankind dare to put her name here - our dear Miss Leong :-) Missing the times with her.

Exceptionally temperamental. This teacher of mine is the textbook definition of PMS - all year long, 24/7 thank you. She could be so damn warm and approachable this minute and totally icy cold and harsh in the next minute. The teacher our class monitor Eric made a hobby out of apologising to haha.

Exceptionally straight hair. *sound effect - fung fung fung fung* Hehe. Anyone remember this?

Exceptionally embarassing stage moment. "Selalu pergi Milimewah, 'honey dew' saja!" "........." He meant to complain about students dating in the local mall and I think, I am just making a very logical guess, he wanted to say 'honeymoon'. Am I right?

Exceptionally awesome handwriting. I showed the page with his writing in my Primary 3 report card to everyone in my family. As good as computer typed and as cursive as Jennifer Lopez. I still remember his name - Cikgu Ika! Where art thou?

Exceptionally 'counselling'. I wonder if she is only memorable to me? She sent me to my one and only counselling session and it was not for any sort of 'counselling' but more of an interrogation of why why WHY did I make the nice guys from the class next to mine not join her camp. Hence I remember her. And a certain schoolmate of mine who escaped to UK grrr.

Exceptionally smooooooooth. Everything about her is smooooth. The way she handles things, the way she presents herself. I really can think of no other better word for this teacher. From the way she walks to the way she talks (while assembly) - catching every boy's attention. From her pop song/Cleo quizes for English class to answering naughty questions from boys in Biology class - making every lesson interesting. I guess you all know I am talking about Miss Franky here. At least the boys do . . . . .

Exceptionally nice to boys. Rotan in sewing class for girls. Sunshine smile for accounting class with girls and boys. Pffft. This category comprises a few, actually 2 of them la. Go figure!

Exceptionally sporting. I guess he must be the most open-minded and adventurous and encouraging headmaster in Sandakan back then. Without losing his authority of course. Always such a sport and never hesitating to mix around with his students. Somewhat like a GTO (he is on his way haha). Doesn't hurt to name names when my memory is this good - Mr Henley!

Just like the way teachers only remember the ones who stand out in school, the students only remember the teachers who stand out in school as well. Especially when they stand out for a bad cause. How sad.

I bet I was remembered as a brat in primary school. Probably not remembered during Form 1-3. And re-remembered in a more positive way (I hope) during Form 4-5.

I think la. . . .

What other teachers do you think are memorable? Someone I ought to have mentioned? (I am a bit too sleepy now to venture into my uni period)

Labels: Just Me, Old Time Stories, Wackness

indulged at 10:53 PM

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Sunday, April 19, 2009Y

Randomness galore

I have been working from 8.30 a.m. till 5 p.m. every single day. Sunday, my only rest day. And I am spending it playing Restaurant City on Facebook. Gosh, anyway, please gimme more ingredients and free furniture my Facebook besties :-)

I have so much I want to blog about!

So this is a random post dedicated to updating everyone about me Me ME!!!!

I miss eating crabs *sniff* Saw these big luscious (drooled even though they were uncooked) ones in Springvale last week. Gone were the days when I never appreciated seafood. Being from Sandakan, it had never been a problem to have crabs weekly or even every other day.

Some of my favourite crab dishes, which I think everyone should try, are:

- Butter crab with fried mantau at City Star Seafood Restaurant near Dataran Prima.

- Crab with Salted Egg Gravy at the late Extreme Park Chinese Restaurant.

- Crab with noodles at Pacific House near Richmond.

You know, I have a reputation for being an extremely attentive and clean crab eater (no meat left anywhere for sure!)

**********

I have departed from my dormant lifestyle for the past month. Having to work everyday now, I noticed a few other changes I made:

- Waking up at 7 a.m.

- Waking up several times at night to check the time (kiasu not wanting to be late)

- Going out without any make-up :-(

- Wearing the same coat and jeans every day.

- Skipping breakfast (a very big deal to me!)

- No snacking throughout the day :-(

- Lotsa hand movement and injuries throughout the day *sniff sniff*

- Standing at least 7 hours a day.

- Seeing a cute boss 7.5 hours a day :-)

**********

The weather is Melbourne is still as indecisive as ever. See the dark and bright clouds here.

I am still wearing the same jeans and sneakers walking to the same bus loop.

But I am no longer taking the free Monash shuttle to Caulfield for classes or exam. It dawned upon me that, things certainly have changed. I have started a new chapter in life, away from the comfort of being a student, protected by the university from the society.

Sometimes staring at that very bus stop while waiting for the bus, I can still see an image of me waiting for the free shuttle bus there, handful of lecture notes, earful of Glay.

**********

Yesterday night, was a very special night :-)

I treated Ray to dinner for the very first time using my own hard earned money *tears* And it was so good that or in a more accurate manner, we were so hungry that we finished all the food without any snapshot of it.

Later that night, we went for Fast and Furious. And it was special cause - I put on make up and wore a dress for the first time the whole week! It was such an amazing moment :-) I absolutely love dolling up. That was the very moment I was definitely sure about this fact T.T

Btw, I am loving Paul Walker now. I hope my Ray O'Connor can have facial hair like his :-(

**********

I love staying in my Marshall house.

It is always bustling with people, voices, activities - just like a very big and happy community centre :-)

Yiki and LiLet stayed here for a month when they were looking for a house. Daniel stayed over a night in the living room when his house was a bit too noisy. Oli, Ray, LiLet and others always come over for dinner together.

Other than people, we always receive stuffs - food, presents, random everythings. So this is a happy place :-)

I received a cute nightwear from Peter Alexandra from Yiki *yay!*

'We' received a box of very nice chocolates from Lindt Cafe Sydney from WooHsian *woot woot!*

The beauty of chocolates. I remember a certain lecturer saying this:

"Seeing how chocolates are so addictive and even helps release feel-good hormones (endorphin), it would probably be banned and labelled an illegal drug if discovered only now".

Labels: Drama-ful, Just Me, Out There Somewhere, Wackness

indulged at 3:33 PM

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Tuesday, April 14, 2009Y

Resume

Body ache *cough cough* Paper cuts *cough cough* Back pain *cough cough*

And yes, I am just 22 years old *cough cough*

Today, I went to work for the first day as a casual support staff at a printing company. Almost 7 hours of standing and inhumane packing speed. It was quite fun considering it is located just behind my house and I am working with another 2 friends! Not forgetting that my boss is nice and young and kind and kinda cute. Oh and the pay is not bad. Not a bad deal at all, is it?

Thinking back, I have worked formally or informally quite little throughout my life.

My first ever job would be at Watson's Supermarket back at Mile 8, Sandakan. Since my Mum practically was there bringing that little market to life and continued to work there for the next 10 years, me and my Sis spent quite some time 'working' there.

Putting price tags on products even before the supermarket was officially open. Playing cashier to the point of both of us wanting to be cashiers in the future (we thought cashiers got to keep the money they accepted). Scooping kuachi for customers during Chinese New Year. Standing guard along supermarket aisles with lotsa children. Going on company trips together with my Mum. But those were the innocent days where Loretta Lo worked without pay.

My second job was helping my Auntie at her pharmacy at Mile 4. I bet everyone knows which one I am refering to. Duties included cleaning the storefront, standing guard when the shop is crowded, counting tablets for her, being cashier and showing customers where certain damn obvious products were.

I actually 'served' Puan Theresa while working there!!

For those who don't know who Puan Theresa is, let me explain using a few descriptive facts about her from a neutral point of view:

- She brings a rotan to our all-girl kelas jahitan but not to our boys-and-girls kelas akaun.
- She never smiles during our all-girl kelas jahitan but jokes during our boys-and-girls kelas akaun.

I was shocked to the max when I saw her in the shop. My aunt proceeded to introduce me as her niece and told her that I was there to learn. The next time she came over, she approached the counter in a hurry but as soon as she saw me there, she quickly turned away and asked someone else asked for my auntie instead. *Tears like running tap not on water restriction*

Anyway, I worked there for a bit more than a month including some Saturdays and the paycheck day finally came. My auntie gave me RM 250. At that time I thought, "Manyak-manyak duit oh!" But then my friends told me I should have gotten more and I felt a bit ripped off but swallowed it like bitter medicine cause she is my Aunt *sniffffff*

For my third job, the longest running one, I became a private tutor. Actually I did this only cause I was trying to avoid having to work for my Auntie. Yes, I deserve a slap with this money over family attitude sigh.

I continued doing this every single summer break from uni. I tutored my cousin Ivy then her sis Isis as well. I tutored an exchange student (my cousin haha) from Tawau and made her sit there after everyone left until she could spell 'watermelon' properly. The little brat was playing around with me being her usual silly cousin, but no one challenges Great Tutor Loretta. Muahaha.

The following years I tutored some other kids, ranging from primary school to secondary school. My favourite subject to teach were Biology and Additional Maths :-) Biology cause I love talking (and I know a lot muahaha) and Add Maths because I miss Maths (and I know enough to show off muahaha). But this job made me realize something about myself. Damn it, I could or can actually nod off while waiting for the kids to finish up something or even in the middle of explaining something! How scary. And embarassing. I wonder if any of them actually realized this? Worse still, if any of them is actually reading this!?

Eh, don't call me perasan or syok sendiri thinking that a lot of people read my blog. It is because none of you who are reading this right now actually comments or say anything while my Nuffnang account shows that I get quite a number of visits per week *hmph* Where are you faceless people T.T

My fourth job was helping out around Ideal Spot, the shop my Mum initially opened with two other partners. Duties included storefront management, customer service, inventory checking, cashier duties and entertaining my Mum. Pay? No pay no pay, with Miss Chin (my mum) you dare cakap pay meh? But I get to eat a lot in return.

There was this once when I met a junior from St. Michael. Erm, 3 years after graduation. And I asked her:

Me: Eh, do you remember me? You look so familiar.
Her: I dunno your name but you are a top student right?
Me: No la.

The point of this is: I was not a top student. So, she inferred that solely based on my appearance. Meaning I looked nerdy. I looked nerdy despite not being a top student. Sad mou. FML?

That is the end of my working history :-)

Gotta catch some sleep now! Working again tomorrow :-)

Labels: Just Me

indulged at 11:09 PM

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Friday, April 10, 2009Y

First Love

First love is a nostalgic thing.

Like how the famous Utada Hikaru song goes, I agree to the part " I remember to love, you taught me how". Nostalgic is the most fitting word I can use - neither negative nor positive, an old sense of magic, seeing yourself frame by frame in slow-motion during the relationship, reliving the laughter and tears.

I think what makes our first love special is - the person we were when we braved into it.

I still remember mine started with a sense of confusion. Being the most unreceptive romance satellite ever, I was not aware of my own feelings at all. He was one of my best friends during then and he was different from the rest. Different, in a very apparent and also subtle way.

It happened due to an internet prank - woohoo. The internet and all those chatting software are life-threateningly dangerous when it comes to these kind of things. It is funny how such a small 'communication' could start so many things. But after so many years, I wonder if it was a matter of convenience (knowing we had mutual feelings), fleeting feelings (impulse and impulse) and curiosity (in my case towards the person and the whole relationship 'thing', pak toh wor!! Me wor!!).

Regardless of how it started, it ended. Recording a time of 2.5 years.

Regardless of it having ended, it is valuable.

From the first time I properly laid my eyes on him, told him my secrets, cried my eyes out in front of him and laughed myself silly for nothing. To the first time I got angry at every other things, fought with him over matters huge then trivial, realized things had gotten out of hand to making the decision of moving on.

I am sure everyone has survived these!

Valuable. During this 2.5 years, I learnt to love, to speak and to stand up for myself. Seeing the way I was before that - hermit and all - I would have ended up being quiet and scared like that until forever perhaps. And because people change as they grow, it is often so easy to see two person walking opposite paths. And when this happens, it is often better to say the harsh goodbyes before one drags the other selfishly against her own personal growth or both stalls in points of life none of them desire. At least, I think.

At the end of the day, I would still thank him for the time and effort and honesty he put into the brief yet so valuable nostalgic time we had together.

There are always different reactions when it comes to the end. "I don't want to love again, it is painful." "I am going to get a better boy/girlfriend!" "For now, I just want to be a singleton again." "I'll let fate do its wonders."

For me, I was "I want to be a singleton again" (0 month) before changing to "Let's see what destiny has in store for me!" (6 months) to "I want a boyfriend!" (9 months). I was not desperate la, okay. I just wanted a boyfriend and was not afraid to joke about it. In fact, Shuk Ye gave me a pink crystal bracelet for my birthday that year as it is supposed to bring luck in love and one of the first few things I told WenJi was I wanted a boyfriend.

And of course, then I went over to Australia and received a surprise at the Monash Residential Services office the same day my parents left me in the halls.

"Hi, my name is Raymond," and we shook hands. One of the many traditional things he would do in the future. It was not electrifying or anything like that.

Unlike my first relationship, everything was slow, calm, clear (not always but...) and peaceful.

It started in the most natural way and one thing I learnt from the moment we started?

'First love' is not numeracy at all, it is all about the feelings and emotions.

I found 'first love' with this relationship. This time around, stronger and surer.

I could never write anything like this last time. Nor could I fail at being angry for a long time. Nor could I fail at stifling a laugh. Nor could I listen whole-heartedly to complaints. Nor could I wait to just see someone. Nor could I accept what someone says so easily. Nor could I just talk about everything and anything in my heart. Nor could I talk about the future and believe in it.

Believe it or not, I am still in my 'first love' state right now.

In pyjamas, after cereal with milk, on an Easter Friday, wearing my grandma glasses and grinning silly while Mr Tan is probably munching on DimSum somewhere far away.

**Inspired by the Japanese drama 'Majo no Jouken' with Utada Hikaru's 'First Love' as the soundtrack :-)

Labels: Emo-ing, Girl Talk, Just Me, Serious thoughts.

indulged at 10:06 AM

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Tuesday, April 07, 2009Y

Misunderstood

I love talking. I love laughing. I love the company of others. I love people. I love being myself.

But.

That doesn't mean.

I love being the entertainer. I love playing the clown. I love being the attention seeker. I love making others love me.

I don't want to be misunderstood.
I love being all that.
But one can even get tired doing what one loves if it is not reciprocated.

Maybe I am just selfish or arrogant.
But with the crushed feeling of being misunderstood I have right now, maybe I am trying too hard or too desperate instead.

Labels: Emo-ing, Just Me, Serious thoughts.

indulged at 11:34 PM

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My mind is buzzing

These days of jobhunting has seen me being the most bored. Not in a depressed sense, but at least physically and mentally. This, in turn, led me to realise that the mind is actually very active.

Despite sitting on the same spot, doing nothing and having nothing to do - a million thoughts still cross my mind. Like the Brownian motion of an atom.

Here I present you with a snippet of what goes through my mind as my Windows Media Player shuffles different songs. Like a live broadcast of my thoughts, here goes. . . (click on the song titles to listen)

The first song is surprisingly Suteki Da Ne. I still remember the first time I heard this song was when I bought the set of VCDs summarising the whole Final Fantasy X game. I knew of this song back when I have yet to meet Ray but listened to it most when I was on LDR with him. The chorus goes, "Isn't it wonderful, if we can hold hands and walk together, I want to go to your town, your house, no into you arms". Something like that la.

Which reminds me of the time I brought my Playstation 2 home. I still remember my Sister's need of the toilet completely vanished suddenly and miraculously as soon as we bought the console. I remember how disappointed we were when we heard Yuna's voice in English and how my Sister got killed off by a random Wendigo. Hohoho. A RANDOM WENDIGO.

Itsuka means 'Someday'. Someday. Have any of you ever thought of what you want to see yourself as someday? Is this someday of yours in a definite timeframe or is it just an unattainable dream? Until then, until your very own 'Someday', perhaps now is the time to work harder and dream a little more. Things important to be kept up during this stage of life: energy, motivation, faith.

Water from Final Fantasy VII AC is such a serene yet haunting piece. I feel like I am moving forward in my own pace and there is only me alone going against a soft current.

Dearly Beloved. The thought of being here while my family and close friends are back in Malaysia is somewhat - bitter. There are so many events I have to no choice but miss out on. And that very piece of memory, would see me absent when I could have not only be present but made a difference.

Denki Iruka Kimyou na Shikou. Electric Dolphin Strange Taste. "Sunday wake up drive me to beach. . . I'm singing in the rain, it's my way. . .I believe in the meaning of singing" Never fails to put a smile on my face. I really would like to escape to the beach now. To just lie down on the sand with my Haruki Murakami, some noisy friends and a peaceful mind. But it has been too cold lately. Anyway, just imagining it makes me happy enough. Where to go for Easter!!

Te o Tsunagou (Ayaka) which means "Let's hold hands". We are such small beings in this world. While we are surviving this so called economic crisis, I wonder if the Earth cares. After all, we have not been taking care of our own home, the Earth, well not have we been nice to our own friends, the animals and plants. There is so much we can do, if only everyone can stand united and join forces.

Communication is so hard and complicated. Maybe that is why it is so important. If you can find someone whom you can communicate with while being totally yourself and at the same time, achieve understanding and build mutual respect - consider yourself lucky and treasure this bond. Holding hands - I have always thought of it as something over-rated in relationships but the truth is, it's so special.

Kekkonsiki (The Wedding Ceremony - FF10). A lot of my friends are getting married this year! I wonder why. Is everyone going for the 9th of September 2009 - (the triple 9 meaning 'long long nine nine' in Chinese). Heck, even I almost got engaged on April's Fool! I really wanna be a bridesmaid :-(

Sunadokei (Hourglass - 1 Litre of Tears OST). Time is passing by. I want to make full use of my time. I might still be lost right now, but I guess it is alright as long as I do not lose my focus and can still be peaceful with myself. Maybe I should spend this period of time working towards an 'hourglass' body figure instead ;-) Time is passing by but nothing is ever too late.

Passion by Utada Hikaru. I always have this kind of question,"If I. . . ,will I be able to. . . ?" And if this goes on without action it will eventually end up being either "If only. . . " or "What if. . ." scenarios. And both scenarios are always countered with an "I told you so" from others. Something I believe a lot of people dread hearing.

Most times, I don't need anyone to tell me so. I have the answer. I just need the encouragement or convincing or courage to believe in what I have in me.

****

It has been less than 30 minutes of me typing out whatever crossed my mind. My mind is still active . . and still fascinating to me.

Labels: Emo-ing, Just Me

indulged at 9:21 AM

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Saturday, April 04, 2009Y

We are alright now

I had a girly chat (Daniel was there as well in case anyone is curious) with some friends last night. Some known since my first stay here and some met only last year.

I love long nights of sitting around with hot tea or chocolate where everyone does nothing but talk, talk and talk then laugh, laugh and laugh.

Last night was particularly interesting and girlish (Daniel was there as well in case anyone is still curious) - make up for the first time, cringe-worthy fashion sense, teenage-reaction towards boys. The most glorious moments in our lives :-)

The conclusion was: Everyone has grown up in their own way and am happy with the way they are.

Ironic as this was usually the last thing you would have expected while you were sulking or rebelling or still lost as a teenager.

Starting college, there was this girl who used to match baby T-shirts with long flowy skirts and sports shoes without forgetting her backpack while I wore high-waisted shorts (high waist wasn't really a trend back then) with . . . whatever.

Alone, there is this girl who experiments with eye make-up until it seemed like she got a heavy punch to her eyes while my turquoise-up-to-my-eyebrow eyeshadow story prevails.

In high school, there was this girl who despises boys just to hide her own excitement and curiosity towards them while I gets stunned, ponder for 5 seconds (for what seems like eternity to me usually) before answering ". . . Really ah?" everytime I try to answer something in a cool way.

When complimented, there was this girl who used to ponder whether to smile or to answer "Er, you also not bad what. . " while I get stunned, ponder for 5 seconds (for what seems like eternity to me usually) before answering ". . . Really ah?" everytime I try to answer in a cool way.

In terms of girlfriends, there was this girl whose best friends were all the 'flowers of the school' and were really popular making her feel awkward while my primary school friends all got upgraded to 'hot property' upon entering high school and in an unfair twist, I became a hermit and shut myself out.

Appearance-wise, there was this girl who used to think she was the most gorgeous female on the streets eventhough in fact she was dressed like a Christmas Tree while I insisted on my no sleeveless or short pants principle.

In high school, there was this guy who fell in love and lost his confidence and courage because of love during high school while I has no confidence and zero courage for love and fell in love after that in high school.

After about 2 hours of talking - with the topics flowing endlessly - we all heaved a sigh and smiled a bit with eyes casted towards the carpeted floor.

We are alright now, aren't we?

The night ended with everyone getting to their cars, thousands of goodbyes and plans to watch the Shinjuku Incident together the following night. And I couldn't ask for more.

Labels: Emo-ing, Girl Talk, Just Me

indulged at 3:42 PM

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Monday, March 30, 2009Y

Breathe new

I took a break over the weekend to take a step back and look at my life. Ever since returning here, I have been committed to the mission of jobhunting and conserving of resources. In fact, I must say, I was so focused on these missions that I was suppressing my desires and feeling guilty whenever I had too much fun - all the while thinking that it was totally natural to feel so.

Examining my days in slow-mo over the month, the days were not unhappy nor were they depressing.

Going to Clayton town for groceries. Catching up with friends. Thinking of what to cook for dinner.

Sweating off in the gym. Drifting away to the beat of my favourite music. Indulging in my own thoughts as I walk slowly home.

Cooking up a feast. Waiting for everyone to come back. Talking and talking over dinner. With Ray, LiLet, WenJi and sometimes even Olivia, Yikki and Daniel. Changing into flowery sleepwear. Spending time with everyone in the house - gossipping, talking our hearts out, whining, laughing. Sweet dreams.

I honestly think that these days were not unhappy nor depressing. Just relaxing and slow. Or maybe, mundane, boring and unsatisfying for the young and restless ones - like me.

However, there had been a lot of events which brightened up some days. Sending a jolt a small electrical jolt to this otherwise very still system I am currently living in.

LiLet's bunnies, which she kept at our place for a while, gave birth to 5 very tiny black bunnies.

Olivia invited us over to her new place for dinner. Amy and I made it a 'beach party'. Well, we 2 were the only ones in the beach party style though.

Everyone was nice enough to understand and keep me excited with small gestures like this. Telling me about their day, tempting me with supper-run, organising gatherings.

Especially Mr Tan. Not the most exciting or active person in the world but he had been nothing short of amazing during these frustrating days. Putting up with my emotional rollercoaster, doing silly stunts lame people like me like-y, giving me reasons to enjoy myself, bringing me out for a breathe of air.

Just before he went off outstation at Deep Lead (I had been telling everyone it was at 'New Lead'), we went to this Japanese Restaurant called Yokohama in Glen Waverley. It was not bad!

You see, I came to a realisation after evaluating these days in the past month. I was being suppressive and in denial of most of my desires, be it highly sinful ones like a PSP with FF Dissidia in it or plain innocent ones like going window shopping with the girls. What I should do is to secure a job.

What I overlooked was - What I should so is secure a job, but that is not the only thing I should or could do.

As I suppress myself, I could feel my energy draining away. Job-hunting was no longer of passion or interest or hopes, but of duty or frustration and a matter of automation. Other things I do like cooking and exercising for example, were no longer of fun or enjoyment, but of to kill time and make myself feel useful.

Where was my passion to live?

Do I want these days to be a matter of killing time or making myself feel useful?

The truth is these days are mundane and boring. I feel restless at times. But the days were only so because I let them be so.

My perspective is all that caused it. Again, these days were mundane and boring but I am the only one who can decide how exciting my own days can be. There is only so much I can do each day but I alone control how passionate I can be at doing all that I can.

As long as I am living every moment, with passion, I am sure these days will be worth a story.

Right after the weekend of realisation, I could feel a turning point in my life. A fresh new start is what I am looking forward to making happen. A lot happened during this very weekend. Everything based in reality but yet so surreal and inspiring, after processed by the mind.

Breath.

That means, dressing up on a beautiful Saturday morning and crusing out with a girlfriend. WenJi needed to go for a haircut so I tagged along. We always go to this hairdresser in Prahran called Taka. The place is called Tsumiki and is the cosiest and prettiest saloon I have ever seen. Other than that, they have the latest ViVi magazines and $10 fringe cuts. Despite the low price, Taka is always so detailed and attentive. It makes it feel like a $100 fringe cute. But for whole-head trimming, it costs $70 eek. I learnt it the hard way.

WenJi with the tall gold rimmed mirror, chandelier and the morning light from the tall windows.

A small gold rimmed mirror with my legs.

I love the fire-wood place near the mirror.

The view from the window.

After that WenJi suggested lunch at Laurent Patisserie. So we sped all the way to Chadstone to share an iced chocolate and two precious desserts. Mine was a bombastically chocolate piece called 'Christine' while WenJi's was a nice slice of custard and fine layers of pastry. Olivia joined us a while later and we embarked on a shopping sessions exclusively for girls.

After coming home at 5 pm, WenJi and I went out for a jog at a trail near our house. The official jog ended in 20 minutes but the geniuses got lost after taking a supposingly reliable detour. We touched the wall-thing we always see while driving along M1, WenJi screamed her lungs out when barked at by a black puppy before apologising to the dog's owner who was making up at her front door, went uphill and downhill and crossed M1 on an overhead bridge.

I have never been that happy to see a car before. So the unofficial time of our jog was 50 minutes.

Seeing how I spent this Saturday, I would have been suffocated by guilt by the end of the day but I was genuinely happy on that day. A bit guilty still, but I felt like I could breathe all over again.

Labels: Emo-ing, Just Me, Out There Somewhere, Serious thoughts.

indulged at 11:45 AM

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009Y

Yours Truly

"I am glad I was able to meet you."

This is something I would wanna say to a lot of special someones who stayed with me and supported me throughout this tough journey called 'life'.

"I am thankful I have you by my side."

This is something I would wanna say to that very special someone who I am sure knows without a doubt, these very true words are for him and only him.

Love can take many different forms. There are two general categories - one you were born with and one you meet with the help of destiny.

While the former kind is amazing, I personally think the latter kind is just, beautiful.

To meet that very special one out of all the billions of people out there.
To get to know each other in a way unique to both of you.
To fall in love and to be fallen in love with.
To build a bond just between two very people in this whole wide world.
To see the laughter, tears, anger and fear of each other.

To create a world of two of you.

This is the kind of love you found, nurtured, protected, worked hard for and celebrated.
This is the kind of love you wish to bring upon your future generation.
This is the kind of love which makes you look at him/her, or even a vase, and sigh . . .

"I am so thankful I have him by my side."

Labels: Emo-ing, Just Me, Serious thoughts.

indulged at 11:28 PM

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Monday, March 23, 2009Y

Small changes I enjoy

have you visited hikari*s closet-o? (click here!)

* * * * * * * *

What is the best way for an instantenous make-over or to feel brand new?

A change in hairstyle.

In - colour, length, fringe, curl, softness.

Whenever I see or foresee a change in my life - I go for an extreme change in haircut.
Whenever I see my life being too static - I go for an extreme change in haircut.

Bah, who am I kidding?

I just love to feel brand new and see different sides of myself.

The last trip back to Malaysia, I straightened by hair - first time since before college. And I lurved it - despite being called a failed Cleopatra. It has been more than a month since so. . .

. . I curled my own hair using WenJi's curler! And I lurved it- despite the curls being here and there and in and out!

I shall be curling my hair very often - I have a strong feeling. I wonder why.

Isn't it great to be able to get a change of scenery from time to time? Same theory here.
Isn't it great to feel pampered from time to time? Exactly!

A small change like hairstyle - can make you feel anew and fresh - without too much of the shock or horror or fear element usually associated with change.

Despite the curly hair, I am still the same inside *shrugs*

I still get excited and curious about extremely coloured drinks. I lurve my Pepsi Blue - I feel like my cool factor goes up 1000x everytime I am with my Pepsi Blue. In a transparent glass, of course. This here is Ramune Hawaii.

The smart-cut engineering approach to an eclectic blue drink. Analyze, observe.

The curly-haired pop idol approach to an eclectic blue drink. Smile, wink.

Besides that, I still lurve cooking creatively and indulging *tears in eyes*

Grabbed these pancakes which were on special - just pancakes? Not good enough. I prepared apples - apple crumble style with dried apricots (no raisins T.T). Not good enough. A scoop of vanilla ice-cream for each pancake.
Complete perfection. So much so, no one remembered to take a picture of my hard work *sniff sniff*

Labels: Girl Talk, Just Me, Wackness

indulged at 9:17 PM

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Thursday, March 19, 2009Y

Satisfying the Shopaholic this Recession

It was the VIP sale at Chadstone yesterday. From 9 a.m. to 10 p.m., almost all stores offered discounts ranging from 15-25%. Which I must say is a tad bit unexciting when one is used to the 50-70-80% discounts in big red fonts during Mega Sale in Malaysia. And even more unexciting when one vowed to not shop up a splash until she lands a job.

But but but!! I found a good way to substitute the salvation you gain from purchasing during a trip to the mall :-D

What is the big plan, you ladies-stuck-in-the-recession ask?

Trying on clothes - preferably in a group. So you can proceed to show your friends, take pictures of yourself and enjoy the momentary hug of new fabric - with less guilt.

What is my damn problem, you lovely-ladies/gentlemen-working-in-a-busy-store ask?

Well. Everyone loves to see themselves looking good, no? I am sure you all will understand this theory when you are not working in you own store :-)

Not only do you get to see yourself all dolled up without the outgoing of precious cash, you get to have a mini dress up party with you friends, amuse/hint/encourage/convince your boyfriend to get you that special dress which landed a place in your heart, experiment with different styles and ooh la la, most importantly, keep the spirit to look good alive and kicking hard!

There is this downturn that I am sure every girl experiences when she stops dressing up or paying attention to her appearance (deliberately or not), where she suddenly finds herself not knowing how to dress up, losing her style and confidence, neglecting her body and forgetting that she deserves more love for herself.

So this method serves as a healthy and economical reminder to us all (not only ladies!) - remember your fabulosity!

The conclusion: I went to Chaddy last night, tried on a galore of clothes, paraded around even in a pair of heels they have in Bardot with friends, educated Ray on how shopping can be interesting and satisfied my own new-clothes-craving, all at the expense of $14.

Proud of myself, immensely. Hmmm, who bought a wig again? *evil cackle!*

Anyway, I 'updated' my style a bit. Ahem ahem.

What I think is sexy lately:

Body hugging dresses with an exposed zip (not hidden ones) trailing the length of your back.

Body hugging beige or any neutral coloured dresses - the nude colour explains all!

(I loved both dresses but both were a size bigger so, sigh)

P/S: Do not let the my face or the fact that I was the one wearing those clothes, dispel the credibility of the sexiness of those 2 dresses. I tried hard wuwuwu.

In fact, after this healthy and economical shopping trip, I couldn't wait to get back into my sneakers and get fitter for my next trip :-)

Labels: Girl Talk, Just Me, Light Bulb

indulged at 2:46 PM

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Tuesday, March 17, 2009Y

Fresh

One of the things I love about being in Australia: F R E S H.

When I came over here, I was looking forward towards: a fresh start - new environment, new poeple, new place, new prospects.

In fact everything seems so much more fresher here.

The air, the fruits, the vegetables, the flowers.

I started having new likes: grocery shopping, cooking, colourful rows of fruits, meeting new people and so on.

I started having new dislikes: routine, mundane days, lack of passion, and so on.

Out of my first year in Aussie, I can say that I learnt that I am someone who desires fresh changes and passion and movement. Maybe one of the reason was cause that very year, I was turning 20 and for the first time I really heard my biological clock ticking. Woopsie.

It was not that apparent then, but it is now.

I do not want to go through any day without really 'feeling' the day.

I do not want to sit through the whole day: absent minded, empty, felt nothing.

Even if the day was uneventful, I want to make it a day I 'lived'.

If I am going to be sad, I want to feel every bit of it.

If I am going to be happy, I want to show every bit of it.

If I am going to do cook, I want to cook something interesting.

If I am going to run, I want to sweat along to my favourite music.

If I am going to spend time with someone, I want to make every moment out of it.

I want to leave no space for boredom in my life.

I want to appreciate every single moment, make the best out of my time.

Certainly we do not grow any younger. The time used to sit around stoning is the time we wasted - no memories, no discoveries, no feelings, no emotions.

I am growing to loathe the feeling of sitting still doing nothing feeling nothing - I feel like I might go stale doing so. Like these fresh capsicums here, I would rather be cooked and served hot than to end my life as a stale being at the very same place.

Labels: Emo-ing, Just Me, Serious thoughts.

indulged at 11:29 PM

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Monday, March 16, 2009Y

Taggggged.

I was tagged by MizManda to do this personality quiz and the verdict is. . . . . it is kinda accurate! Woo. . so with my results here, everyone will know me better!

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

(I am obsessed with efficiency!)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

(I cannot be angry at that special someone for too long before breaking into a laugh due to his 'lack of logic' usually)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

(I treasure commitments)

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

(I used to fear wasting my youth and time in relationships that fail)

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

(Definitely.)

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

(I came to realize I am quite stubborn in trying to get into the line of job I desire to be in and I am someone who needs security)

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

(I am scared of failures. Something I am still trying to overcome)

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

(This is 100% true. In fact, I think I told my friend AiJia about this before on a fateful night in the Promenade Hotel in KK when every one else in the room was asleep blissfully)

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

(Random people do come up to me, from time to time, and talk about just anything. Which I really enjoy and really appreciate. I love talking and love getting to know a person better. I just love that process)

Labels: Just Me, Tagged

indulged at 1:08 AM

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Gothic Lolitta

Remember me telling you guys about my worst day ever? Well, I have pictorial evidence to prove it.

See how upset I looked? Just like a screencap out of a really saddest scene of the saddest movie ever in the history of sad movies. Can you imagine? *sulk sulk*

But I am totally alright now! One has to know how to pick oneself up, right-o! So I went out with 13 others for a movie which was cute as a button, Confessions of a Shopaholic. Well, not the funniest movie ever, but definitely charming in its own simplistic way. Isla Fisher was amazingly convincing playing her part and brought so much life into the character - I am grinning to myself thinking of her. Hugh Dancy was charming, charming, charming with an accent! - I am drooling thinking of him. So go go go and watch this movie now!

I went to the gym today wearing a new top meant for exercise I got from my YiMa. Surprisingly, for the very first time in my life, I thought I looked goth. GOTH.

And believe me, I am seriously not emo/sad/depressed anymore.

I do look goth, don't I? (Somehow this looks a bit too Fatal Frame: Crimson Butterfly and I am getting a bit scared being alone now)

In fact, I think I looked so goth that I didn't even need to try to look emo-ful.

Like screencaps out of the most emo scene from the most emo movie ever within the emo genre. I have never looked more emo! In fact, it was so emo that I thought it was cool.

Goth + Loretta = Gothic Lolitta? Cool.

After all that coolness, let me spread some joy to everyone :-) through pictures.

I LOVE EASTER. For the holidays! For the road trips! For the Easter Camp in 2006! For the devilishly tempting chocolates!

Look at all these chocolates - bunnies, chicks, small eggs, medium eggs, large eggs, bombastically large eggs - do I see some drooling? Oh maybe it is just me!

I especially love the ones from specific brands such as Lindt (they have the prettiest!), Cadbury (they have the most variety!) and so on. To see the bunny version of KitKat and maybe, the egg version of Cherry Ripe - you can feel your love and passion for chocolates burning all the calories it brings. Calories? What calories, it's just love, my dear.

Life with tons of chocolates is like a blooming lily. Just beautiful.

Labels: Just Me, Wackness

indulged at 12:33 AM

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Wednesday, March 11, 2009Y

21 years on

This was the picture of me back when I was 1 year old.

In between then and now,

I walked and scrapped my knees.

I was given a sister with wobbly cheeks.

I bullied and was bullied in primary school.

I fought in songs and punches with my sister.

I made friends whom I will never forget and whom I would rather forget.

I lost and found my confidence.

I felt alone and defeated before learning to pick myself up.

I wanted the wrong things in life.

I succumbed to pride before learning to be humble.

I loved and learnt from a broken heart.

I indulged in lots of dreams and am still dreaming.

I saw and heard from different cultures.

I learnt to laugh at my own mistakes.

I learnt to reach out and rely on others.

I learnt to love myself.

This is the latest picture I took of myself.

21 years on, I must say, I look pretty darn happy :-)

And I am still learning.

Labels: Emo-ing, Just Me, Serious thoughts.

indulged at 3:20 PM

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Tuesday, March 10, 2009Y

Updates!

It's supposed to be a week of 26-28C but why is it so cold!?

The great thing is: my new teddy bear is sooooo warm and huggable.

A lot of people has been asking me such questions lately:

How have you been? What are you doing everyday? Have you found a job yet? What do you plan to do?

Well, lemme address all these curious minds right now.

How have I been? In fact, I have been great - albeit, the slight emotional rollercoaster in me. I can be totally high up in motivation one moment and gutter low in energy the next. This does not go on constantly, just maybe 2-3 times a day. Other times. I just do my best in everything.

What am I doing everyday?

1) Helping Ray and LiLet out with their new house - from house inspections, furniture buying, moving to storing. Finally as of today, they will be moving into their brand new place.

2) Looking for a job - an area I need to buck up and really focus in starting today! After all other matters are settled.

3) TR application - those of you who happened to read my previous post regarding my TR application would probably be aware. But I have since submitted my application and please, fingers crossed for me :-)

4) Surfing the humongous internet - for news and fun, for play and work, for business and science. I have been so into the internet lately that I think I might as well include a mini entry here detailing my daily internet journey:

As soon as I wake up, I will check my email and welcome the 48 Facebook messages traced to the high school pictures Steve and Shuk Ye posted lately.

Then I will have my daily dose of paparazzi updates at PerezHilton. Before moving on to check the weather for the day or more like for the hour.

After that, I will be roaming around Yahoo! News for the latest and most bizarre news. Once I am done with all these, I will take a peek at my own blog. Usually it is damn quiet so I leave as soon as I arrive.

Finally I will settle down to do some work. Serious browsing for serious business.

Once done/tired/hungry, I will do the following:

Stalk blogs - my sister's, Siew Chin's, Mel's, Amanda's and all the link on their pages muahaha. Then I'd start going to some of the more famous blogs. I love reading Kenny Sia and lately Cheesie's. I also read SuetLi's, fourfeetnine and several others! So, please continue feeding me by posting more regularly, people :-( or suggesting more blogs for me to read :-)

Play some games - MSN or flash games. I like this one called Causation from Bored.com.

There is this new gem I found on the internet and I have been going to the site every single. Very funny stuff you can find inside! And I am here to share, click sini!

At the very end of every day, usually 11 pm sharp at night, I will loyally go into Seek and the Monash Employment site. And browse through the selection of jobs for the day. Save down the ones I want and research on them on the following day.

5) Cooking - Since everyone in my house are working and busy with other matters, I am the one who is relatively free. So I have been in charge of the cooking every night!

6) And this!

Have I found a job yet? Truth it, no, not yet :-( But I am trying very hard and I have loadsa supportive people around me. Always ready to share their experience with me and provide advices to me. I will keep trying hard!

What do I plan to do? Get my TR status as soon as possible. Continue with my jobsearch. Build my own life over here.

Life is but a journey - hence while you are living it, there should never be an end in your mind. For who would want such a beautiful journey to have an end. Therefore, aim for the experience - the enjoyment, emotions and lessons learnt - instead of focusing too much on the outcome which is often more superficial in form - wealth, fame and power.

Labels: Just Me, Serious thoughts.

indulged at 10:31 AM

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